One of the most remarkable experiences, at last week's third annual "The Brain at War" conference in San Francisco, was visiting the Marines' Memorial Club & Hotel in Union Square, where the conference was held.
Unbeknownst to me and many of the other conferences' participants, the Marines' Memorial is both swoon-worthily fantastic as a venue AND happens to house a one-of-a-kind tribute to OIF and OEF veterans who have been killed in action. The so-called "Tribute Wall" is on the 10th floor, mezzanine, and Major General J. Michael Myatt, USMC (Ret.) encouraged us all, during the conference, to take some time and pay honor to those servicemembers who had given the ultimate sacrifice.
True to my nonexistent personal GPS, I first mistakenly went to the wrong floor -- the library, on the 11th (which was cool, but not the same) -- and finally found my way to where I was supposed to be. The polished black plaques, listing fallen warriors by name, branch, and date of death, cover the four walls of the memorial room, and then stretch out beyond it, covering a "fifth" wall completely in the adjoining room, and continuing to advance.
If you know when a friend or loved one died in combat, you're able to find the plaque's general location by scanning the wall to find the correct year, then reading vertically to find the approximate location of the date.
If you know only a name, but not the date, it's safest to look up the name of the servicemember in the frequently-updated list kept in a binder in the center of the room, again listing by name, branch of service, and date of death.
In my case, I went to a section of the wall to find those who died on a certain tour of Marines in the Sunni Triangle, back in '05/'06, then went back to find the names of friends of friends and take photos for them of their loved ones' plaques.
There are some surprises. One is, see photo at left, that two "major league" departed heroes, among all the rest of the great departed heroes, Pat Tillman (Army) and Jason Dunham (Marines) died on the same day. Until I saw their plaques resting above each other on the "Tribute Wall," I can't say that I realized that.
There's also a guest book which people can sign, to leave their memories and condolences; and there's a flag display of the flags of all the branches in the center of the room. There's also a framed photograph of Marine General James T. Conway, (at this writing, current Commandant of the Marine Corps) from the front cover of a Marine magazine, visiting the wall; and another framed "thank you" note he wrote, expressing his appreciation to the Gold Star families for the exhibit.
I found myself returning to this generation's "Wall" time and time again during the conference, sneaking away from the (great) presenters to put myself back in touch with the very great losses of these wars, in terms of men and women who were dearly and deeply loved by those they left behind. I racked my brain and texted friends for the names of friends they had lost on their tours, to make sure I got photos of their loved one's plaques.
In numerous trips to the Tribute Wall ("Room" is more like it, since the plaques cover at least five walls by now), I rarely saw another visitor. Only one couple, the wife or girlfriend tagging behind the husband or boyfriend, who looked like a veteran, searching out key names on the wall. I heard that a number of conference participants also went to pay their respects. I didn't run into them, which doesn't mean they weren't there. What the hushed and reverent silence in the room did mean, though, and the literally thousands of plaques, each representing a servicemember important and loved to many friends and family, is how little we typically recognize the ultimate sacrifice of those who gave their lives. I feel blessed and honored and frankly, grateful, that I got to pay my respects at the Tribute Wall for those who gave so much.
If you're ever in San Francisco, and you can handle seeing the sheer enormity of OIF and OEF deaths honored in one single "room," you owe it to yourself -- nay, them -- to go by the Marines' Memorial Club & Hotel, head to the 10th floor, Mezzanine, and pay your respects, so that their sacrifice is not in vain.
Editor's note: Servicemembers who were KIA from all branches of the Armed Forces are represented on "the wall," not just Marines.