Healing Combat Trauma

Marine Recon Rudy Reyes in "The Way of the Warrior" Documentary from "In Their Boots"

The documentary series "In Their Boots" does a great job at showcasing important aspects of the servicemember, veteran, and family member experience in short films on subjects as varied as the participants themselves. Every single one of the episodes is worth watching and taken together, they represent an entire educational arc about the OIF/OEF veteran experience. Periodically we highlight one of the documentary series' new episodes here.

Rudy Reyes, former Marine recon sniper, star of "Generation Kill," and author of "Hero Living" is the star of the recent "In Their Boots" episode entitled: "The Way of the Warrior." The charismatic and exceptionally authentic Reyes carries the entire show himself, making crystal clear the conflicts within and without that the warrior faces. Reyes, not unlike many other veterans, has been fighting serious battles on and off his entire life. The way of the warrior has always appealed to him; and he speaks with powerful candor about the costs, as well as the camaraderie, this life has brought him.

Confucius wrote, "He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior." Rudy Reyes is on that path. His level of honesty is not typical, is not ordinary, and does not come without a very high price; but you honor it with your attention. So many other warriors cannot be this clear or this forthright about articulating their inner struggles. While we give warriors points for subduing others in combat, those who watch this territory know the hardest battles are fought and won within. Rudy Reyes continually finds, and challenges, this personal edge. In this way, he truly embodies "the way of the warrior."

Editor's note: The link to the film is below. The photo pictured below is not Rudy Reyes.

The Spouse's Point of View: "I Just Want It Over With, and Buried..."

Watched a great documentary last night, one hour long, originally broadcast on "The History Channel." The documentary was "Vietnam: Homecoming," and I rented it on Netflix, in their instantly-playable section. They describe it in the following manner:

"This moving documentary follows Pervis Crowe, Stanley Parker, John Hedrick and Mike Cook -- who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder -- as they prepare to attend Operation Homecoming, a gathering in Branson, Mo., to help Vietnam veterans mend. Through poignant interviews, these anguished men share their personal stories of the pain and torment that scarred their psyches and forever changed their lives."

Good stuff. Because I've been privileged to have two years of in-depth, daily conversations with one suffering Vietnam vet, as well as having read his life story, mostly focusing around combat in Vietnam and its aftermath in his life as PTSD, which he sent me two years ago this week, I was astounded by the compelling similarities in what I heard on the screen with what I knew in real life.

Every veteran shared something meaningful. In the conversation illustrated above, a Vietnam vet and his wife exhibited typical conflict over, "you were only there for such a short time...how is it that you can't get over it yet?" frustration. As the wife said, pointedly,

"As your spouse, I don't want you to have to relive it. I want it buried. I just want it over with, and buried."

Unfortunately, that's not likely to be the case. She had "stuck by her man," -- whereas most of the wives in the documentary had not -- and yet, there were tremendous issues. In a suicide note this veteran had left, ironically with his combat brothers, he had mentioned how not only was he expecting to die, but also his wife and their daughter -- a fact that troubled his family members, not unexpectedly, quite a bit when they learned what he had said.

Another veteran, a black soldier, talked about how he managed to keep PTSD at bay until his daughter went off to college. Then his inborn conditioning that "if you get close to someone, they die" kicked in, and he became unrealistically fearful for her safety. At 50 years old, he checked in with what the VA had to offer, the first time he'd realized what an impact PTSD had made on his life, despite the decades of being afraid to get close to people or show his emotion.

Another Vietnam veteran, Marine, sat on his single bed in what looked like a hotel room, and grabbed his shaving kit of medications. This vet's "backstory" was that he was an entrepreneur, a businessman who created a company from scratch that went on to be worth millions. As he described it, he went from rags to riches, and then suddenly at age 50, he couldn't handle it anymore. The empire he built came crashing down, because his PTSD kicked in, and he couldn't run from it, couldn't keep it at bay anymore. And now he was single, marriage destroyed, dependent on pharmaceutical medications to keep his anxiety and sleepness at bay. As he sat on the bed, he took out large pill bottle after large pill bottle, filled with prescription medications, and described his dependence on each one, to help him sleep and help him cope.

I remember the second time I met with the Vietnam vet, Marine, who sought me out for help. He gave me his single-spaced, typewritten list of medications that he was on, 58 in a day, and I almost fainted. Some of them were just for the side-effects of other medications he was on! I was horrified, and sobered. No wonder he had an upset stomach all the time...

A year later, he was down to eight medications from the original 58. Gone was the pain patch, the Oxycodone, the night sweats, the nightmares, the muffled screams, the crappy sleep. Progress is possible. But it started, ironically, with listening to what the veteran went through. "No one wants to hear my story," he said. "They think I should be over it by now. I was only there for two years," he said, "they can't understand why it's the dominant experience in m life, and they're bored with it. Why can't I just move on?"

I heard echoes of that last night in the documentary, with the wife's question: "Why can't this just be buried?" I don't know if I have the stature to comment on this, but this is what I'd say. Honestly, he's not the same person you thought he was. War changed him; combat changed him. And if you can't accept that...you can't accept HIM. He's different now. And whether and how he chooses to show that, it's affected him to the core of his being. He can get better, and he can "improve," and be happier and healthier, by all external metrics...but seriously, if you don't value the core of what he experienced, and why it changed him...you are missing something very, very important. It's key to who he is. And if you wanted someone who wasn't affected by combat, well, that's not who you have right in front of you. It permanently expanded, and blew out, the boundaries of who you knew, and changed him into who he IS. And that is the veteran you can embrace, or not. The choice is yours. The experience was his (or hers). And he (or she) can share it with you, to the extent that you're open to accepting it. Be open. Work on it, if you're not. The payoff is immense. Because you will KNOW who the other person really IS.

Students' Documentary on Veterans: "It's a Privilege to Hear Their Stories"

The Boston Globe has a GREAT front page story today called "Battling a Different Kind of War," by Peter Schworm. The subhead gives you a clue to the content: "military college students document the struggles veterans face when they return." The students in question are from Norwich University, in Northfield, Vermont, and the documentary, done entirely by students, talks to Iraq and Afghanistan veterans about their readjustment issues on returning home.  As such, it's both a truthful and a cautionary tale, for those on both sides of the camera.  Great job!

Let's hope the documentary soon will be available for viewing publicly, to further enhance all of our understanding of what combat veterans go through when they willingly go to war, and return -- hoping, but maybe not always able, to pick up their lives "right where they left off." Because the students involved are at a military college -- and some of them have already served their country -- they're probably a little more sensitive to some of the issues involved, and presenting a less-biased approach than those who are necessarily "for" or "against" military service.  From the sounds of the Globe article, everyone involved seemed pretty aware and respectful of the price that veterans pay to serve their country. (The quote in the title above was said by one of the filmmakers in the story...)

Editor's note: The Boston Globe article is linked here.

"Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq" on HBO

HBO will air a documentary called "Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq" next Sunday, at 10:30 p.m.  Check their schedule for more details.  This was the description on HBO's website:

A new generation of veterans is returning from Iraq. For these survivors, two days will forever memorialize their lives: their birthday and their Alive Day--the day they narrowly escaped death. This HBO Documentary Films production presents the first-person stories of ten Alive Day heroes as told to Emmy®-winning actor James Gandolfini. From a conflict that has left more than 25,000 Americans wounded, the film explores the physical and emotional cost of war through the simple, heartbreaking words of ten young soldiers who survived near-fatal wounds while serving in Iraq. The stories are augmented by harrowing footage from the war-torn streets of Iraq.

Today's San Jose Mercury-News (San Jose, CA) has an article about one of the soldiers profiled in the documentary, and his struggles after injury (though not particularly PTSD/combat trauma).

Documentaries Now Available on DVD

Two fantastic documentaries about combat trauma and returning veterans are now available for purchase:

The excellent and recent New England Cable News documentary, "Hidden Wounds," is available for purchase by sending $20 to Doreen Vigue, Director of Communications, New England Cable News, 160 Wells Avenue, Newton, MA  02459-3302.  NECN plans to show this documentary again on Memorial Day, 2006.  You can learn more about local, New England-area showings of this timely documentary by clicking on this link.

The PBS/Frontline documentary, "The Soldier's Heart," is available for purchase at www.ShopPBS.org online, or by clicking this link for DVD, or this link for VHS.  Amazingly, if you've got the time and the high-speed Internet connection to make it worth your while, you can also watch the entire program online, by clicking this link.

(Both are very much worth your while.)

"Hidden Wounds" Documentary on Local TV

If you're in the New England area this weekend, be sure to watch "Hidden Wounds," an award-winning documentary on the effects of combat trauma, to be aired multiple times on New England Cable News (NECN.com).  See schedule here.

According to the promotional material about the show,

"Hidden Wounds'' is a powerful documentary about veterans returning from Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder. The film profiles three local men and their struggles with overcoming the affliction, which affects 1 in 6 returning veterans.

The one hour film -- shown without commercial interrruption-- tells the story of Nate Fick, a graduate of Dartmouth College who believes privileged men like himself should be represented in the military. He was a platoon commander in “Recon,’’ the elite unit of the Marines. He fought in Afghanistan, then Iraq, returning from war in June of 2003. Fick descended into depression for close to a year. To cope, he began writing. His resulting book, “One Bullet Away’’ has been met with wide acclaim. He is currently pursuing graduate degrees at Harvard’s Kennedy school and business school.

“Hidden Wounds’’ also delves into the life of Sgt. Russell Anderson of Norton, MA who joined the Army in 1969, right out of high school. He served four years monitoring worldwide communications. He returned to civilian life, but kept re-signing with the reserves. Sgt. Anderson volunteered to go to Iraq in 2004 because he wanted to continue to serve his country. He returned in February 2005 hostile and depressed, but he was too proud to seek counseling. He finally agreed to treatment when he “bottomed out,’’ but he continues to cope with the affects of PTSD.

And, it spotlights Jeff Lucey of Belchertown, MA who joined the Marine Reserves as a high school senior in 1999. He spent a year as a truck driver in Iraq, returning home in 2003. He drank heavily and became increasingly despondent. His parents tried to get the Veterans Administration to commit him and treat him for post-traumatic stress disorder, (PTSD) but the VA refused to do so until Jeff Lucey stopped drinking. He committed suicide at age 23. His parents are now activists trying to ensure adequate government funding for PTSD treatment.

It was written and produced by NECN’s Executive Editor Iris Adler, edited by Beth Kidwell, and primarily shot by chief photographer John Stuart and videographer Ryan Scafuro. Graphic design was done by Angela Bertalotto.  (It sounds like it's narrated by Natalie Jacobsen, but perhaps this is in error.)

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NECN does a great job identifying in their blurb about the documentary where New England veterans can go for help with PTSD symptoms.  See the link to the site for details, because there are too many to list here.

It's not clear yet whether those outside the viewing area (New England) will be able to purchase this show on DVD.  If the answer turns out to be yes, we'll post details here shortly.