We've written before here about Thich Nhat Hanh's wonderful comment, as quoted by Claude Anshin Thomas, about how veterans understand deeply the nature of suffering, and because of that can be "a powerful force for healing in the world."
In the same vein are these comments by Patience Mason, in her book "Recovering from the War." While she was writing specifically about the Vietnam combat experience, once can substitute the word "combat" throughout and receive the benefit of her wisdom on this. The emphasis is still on letting the veteran guide the extent of sharing about his (or her) combat experience; and encouraging supportive listening, which communicates respect and appreciation for the vet and what he or she experienced. Mason writes:
"Saying to your vet, "I never realized what you had been through" can mean a lot to any vet -- brother, son, father, husband or lover. In its way, that's a paraphrase of his entire experience and an invitation. Willingness to learn from our vets can be very healing for them, too. They are the experts on [their combat experience]. When they came home they found that this expertise was a handicap. Some buried it. Some lived with it every day. It is still there for all of them, and sharing it can give them a sense of appreciation and respect that was owed when they got back from [combat] but never paid. Discussing [their combat experience], if it is done at all, should be done at your vet's pace."
Editor's note: Patience Mason's book, "Recovering from the War," is linked here. Claude Anshin Thomas' book, "At Hell's Gate: A Soldier's Journey from War to Peace," is linked here. For more on the all-important communication skills between a veteran and his or her loved ones, click here.
