I haven't seen much written in the literature about this, but it seems common-sensical that it would be a problem.
Let's say you manage to make some headway in your struggle with combat-based PTSD. You learn some techniques, some tools, etc., you maybe even experience some true "healing" which takes some of your symptoms away. Life seems suddenly better, brighter, with the possibility that future days will bring only...more of the same enlightened (literally, "lighter") outlook. And yet, setbacks happen. Arguments, bad behavior, outbursts of anger, troughs of depression. What is going on? Hasn't the "healing" actually happened? Has all been for naught?
Here's my impression, and it's only my impression. But to quote an unusual source (moneyman Warren Buffett), "The chains of habit are too tight to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken." Sometimes what seems like PTSD behavior could actually be "just" falling into the same old ruts, communicating in the style you've been accustomed to, complete with its pitfalls, errors and habitual failures. While sparring spouses -- and significant others -- might want to blame PTSD for the problems; perhaps it's more accurate to place the blame on bad communication styles, or bad habits of communicating, that would benefit from being evaluated and overhauled for the better.
Earlier this year I got to spend a wonderful week at a clinical training for PTSD put on by the National Center for PTSD (VA). It was absolutely superb. And as part of it, we got to go to several class and recreational sessions at the men's residential (inpatient) PTSD program at the VA at Menlo Park. They were also impressive, on many levels, from the quality of the instructors, to their level of rapport with the residents, to the residents themselves, and how hard they were working on "their stuff." I can only speak for myself but I think we all left very impressed with the program and the staff, and absolutely rooting for the participants to overcome their challenges. (Since then I've also met some great graduates of the program there, as well as recommended the program to many others.)
One of the highlights was seeing a class of combat vets with PTSD work on "communicating and conflict resolution skills." We learned some of the material beforehand in an excellent class taught by a longtime social worker with the VA. Then, we saw the guys in action putting the techniques into practice, which was very compelling indeed. There were five main communication "skill sets" they were practicing: something called "5-column," "active listening," "disarm and empathy," the "DESC script," and "skills integration." It would take another series of articles to describe more fully what each of those skills were, but in the meantime, what I want to mention is that these skills, in their own way, are the present-day version, at another cutting-edge VA program, of what the "star" of the "Eyewitness to Combat" section learned in his VA inpatient program, many years ago. Only then some of the focuses were on learning red flags and triggers, and fair fighting for couples, etc. ALL these skills, whether then or now, are useful, pro-active, helpful stuff, and they can change a person's life for the better when they're used.
Apparently the program in Menlo Park unfortunately can't track results of participants much beyond a few months' out because of limited funding, but it would be interesting to see how graduates use these skills to succeed in their day-to-day lives, where miscommunications and misunderstandings are a regular part of everyone's lives. What I was grateful to see in the program was guys being able to literally "break down" communication into its component parts and "build back up" the skills necessary to keep their cool when conflict was happening. I hope for everyone's sakes they're actually doing this back in their regular lives once they graduate, because there is a great need for successful conflict resolution skills in this arena.
© 2010 by Lily Casura / Healing Combat Trauma. All rights reserved. Use with attribution.
