Generosity is great -- and for the most part, people don't give enough when it comes to veterans, and injured veterans in particular. But as with every good thing, there's always a shadow side, too. And giving to veterans is no exception.
On the one hand, there are service organizations and comfortably well-off do-gooders who shower injured veterans with goodies, like they'd won some sort of service-related jackpot. Flat-screen televisions, electronics, boating and fishing trips, new vans, bowling outings -- and I'm just thinking of what I know has happened locally. Scratch below the surface though and you sometimes find a bit of a guilty giver. One generous soul who's supported local veterans generously tells a tale of neglecting his own brother, a veteran, when his brother came back from Vietnam. Sure his brother was "screwed up," but the businessman in question never knew what to make of it, and so ignored him -- until decades later, PTSD was in the news and he realized what his brother's problem had been, all those years ago. Now, in a bid to offset the past and right that balance, the businessman makes sure to give generously to the young vets coming back. Generous? Yes. Mixed motivation? Definitely...
For a more interesting take on the after-injury "jackpot," though, we turn to one impressive injured former Marine, who I got to know years ago, after he was blown up in Iraq. He lost both his legs in an IED explosion, but came back strong, married his girlfriend, had two sons, and is remarkably now also back at work. Truly a success story, but pulling from a well of character that he's had all along. He's also been the beneficiary himself of some truly great "goodies" -- fly-fishing trips, shooting trips, and most recently, an adaptive home built for him and his family from the A+ organization, Homes for Our Troops. In this article, the former Marine talks frankly about vets who take do-gooding for granted, sink into entitlement, and fail to remember that a gift is just that. The F-bombs fly, but his talk is straight and to the point. Enjoy. (Used with permission.)
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"This has been eating at me... THE WHINY F'N WOUNDED!!!
It was a problem when I was at Walter Reed and it still continues to be a problem today. No matter how much I have been exposed to it I cannot and will not ever get used to it. Fucking whiny entitled veterans.
First off, as a Vet myself, I am obviously not talking about all veterans. Just the special few who feel they deserve so much that they feel the need to whine, bitch, and complain to anyone who will listen about what they aren't getting from the Government, VA, etc. Most of my friends who are wounded will recognize these types immediately and know what I am talking about. They are those vets who are so self-centered that they can only focus on themselves and their own well-being. Blatantly forgetting to say "thank you" or shake the hands of those who have helped them along the way to recovery post-injury.And that is where it starts really, maybe the veteran said "thank you" in the beginning. But people suddenly start telling them, "No, don't thank me, thank you." And they hear it so much they begin to believe it. I firmly believe that when you stop saying "thank you" when someone does something for you, you lose part of your humanity, you start to believe that you are better than everyone else. They get the feeling that they are "above the law," and deserve to have things done for them without a thank you.
Before you say, "Well, we don't have wounded warriors like that!" Bullshit we don't, ask someone who works with wounded vets on a regular basis, they will tell you horror stories about entitled vets, and vets trying to screw over nonprofit groups. The military is already NOT the home of the "best and brightest,"I would say the ratio is for every four good veterans you have one scumbag -- that's 20%. Some may disagree and say its more like 10%, but I like to remind them of all the DUI's, drug pops, UA's, etc that most units have on a weekly basis. Its far greater than regular society. (Except for maybe where I grew up.)
Our military hospital system, specifically dealing with Walter Reed and BAMC, are breeding grounds for this problem. Wounded vets are showered with gifts, celebrity visits, trips, etc. And being given this special treatment so regularly it goes to their heads. They start expecting special treatment, they stop saying thank you, and bitch and complain when they don't get special treatment. It's a sad system really, people want to help the vets out so much they end up actually hindering them socially. At WR we called it the "Hollywood" effect, and not only does it affect the veterans it affects their families as well.
Most of the time it's wives, but it does affect other family members occasionally. But I will focus on wives, because actually, they are the worst. They actually become more entitled than their veteran husbands. Why, you ask? Because all of the focus is on the veteran, ALL of the time. They are the ones who get the trips, gifts, privileges, even if the wives get to participate. So the wives are left out, and soak in any of the attention they receive. It's sad really, there should be more support for the wives, because it creates monsters. The ones who bombard their husbands' doctors and therapists with questions, to an overbearing degree. They chew out people who are trying to help them, and have the phone numbers for senator's or general's offices and actually use them to get their way.
And when we get our little blue ID and become retired the same problems continue, but now it involves MONEY. The root of all evil, right? That check from the VA and Social Security Disability is great, but they want more (Don't feel bad for us, my annual disability is more than my parents made when I was a kid, its also non-taxable and for life.). They still want special treatment, above the normal benefits. They want more benefits not already in place. They want things to happen right now in a bureaucracy that is not a right now system. And because it won't happen, they turn to bitching.
These veterans and their wives start bitching, and they don't stop, they dominate conversation with their bitching, even if it's unrelated to the current conversation. They bring up money and benefits constantly, and how they aren't getting as much as they want. They are downers and attention whores in the highest degree, especially annoying those of us who are just thankful to have what we have and that people give a shit about us at all.
My frustrations boil down to this, what veterans are entitled to, and special treatment. Veterans are entitled to have their health care taken care of, they are entitled to education and job benefits, they are entitled just compensation for their (sometimes grievous) injuries, and for the more severely disabled, they are entitled benefits that allow for their mobility. Anything more than that is special treatment. And these veterans think they are entitled to special treatment, I will be the first to say, they absolutely are not. People choose to do nice things for us, out of the goodness of their hearts. And some just don't deserve that special treatment, just because they are an injured vet doesn't mean they are a good person.
I will try and bring this to a close. I may get frustrated and complain about the VA, mostly because I put very little faith in their ability to do anything right the first time. Especially considering the mental health treatment vets are receiving (18 American Veterans commit suicide every day). But I also know that at least we have a country that does care. We have the best VA system in the world. And if you don't believe it, look up what wounded veterans from Canada and the UK go through, and what little benefits they receive if any at all.
And I haven't forgotten to say thank you, I make every effort to do so when someone does something nice for me, from holding a door to my annual trip to Camp Perry. I can't not say thank you, its just not in me. And when someone says "Don't thank me", I kindly remind them that to not say thank you would be wrong on my behalf. Because after all, they didn't have to lend a hand, they chose to.
I am so thankful for all of the support and assistance that myself and my family have received from all over. The VA, nonprofits, and individuals, have helped us so much over the years, and I can never thank people enough. I just wish that all veterans were as thankful as I am. It really embarrasses me having to deal with people like that.
...OK, I feel better now.... "---
Editor's note: If you want to give you can always donate to us! We're using it to build a program to treat combat vets with PTSD with integrative medicine, and we promise to say "thank you" :-) Click here to donate, or contact us directly. Thank you.
